You're Guaranteed To Ruin Your 30s With These Toxic Beliefs

This blog post was adapted from the transcript of the podcast episode below. Listen now or read on for the highlights:

If you’re a single 30-something, child-free, maybe living with your parents, and you’ve been made to feel like you’re “behind” because of it - or worse, convinced yourself that you’re late to life because you’re not where you thought you’d be - this is for you.

The world will try to convince you that you’ve failed, that you’ve missed your chance, that you’re not doing life right. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to buy into those outdated narratives. You don’t have to live by anyone else’s expectations.

This is your permission slip to rewrite the story. Let’s reset your confidence together so you can shift back into the belief that you are worthy, deserving, and exactly where you’re meant to be in life right now.

The Pressure of Outdated Beliefs in Your 30s

I get it. I know how heavy these beliefs can feel, especially when they’re shoved down your throat everywhere you look. Every time you open your social media apps, you’re reminded that you’re not “where you should be.” You scroll, you swipe, and suddenly you’re spiralling into shame.

And it’s not just a mindset thing. It affects you physically and energetically too. Being trapped in negative narratives leaves you feeling uninspired, drained, and exhausted. It feels like you’re constantly trying, but never getting anywhere.

But here’s the most important thing: these beliefs weren’t yours to begin with.

Where These Beliefs Really Come From

You weren’t born believing you had to hit certain milestones by 30.

You learned these expectations from parents, family, friends, colleagues, society, and the media. They’re outdated generational beliefs passed down to you. And if no one ever taught you to question them, chances are you just absorbed them as truth.

Some of the biggest outdated beliefs include:

• You need to be married with kids by your 30s

• You should own a house to be seen as successful

• A career only counts if you’re climbing the corporate ladder

• The more money you make, the more valuable you are

• You should settle for someone “nice” even if there’s no chemistry

But let me ask you this: do you actually believe those things?

Challenging the Narrative

Think about it. If your best friend was in your exact position, would you think any less of them?

If it was suddenly trendy for celebrities to be single, child-free, and living with their parents, would you still feel behind?

The answer is probably no. Which means these beliefs aren’t actually yours, they’ve just been programmed into you. And that means you get to choose whether you want to keep them or not.

I made that choice for myself. At 34, I was single, child-free, and living with my mum. For a long time, I felt ashamed, like I was somehow failing at life. But I made a conscious choice not to buy into that belief anymore.

And you get to make that choice too.

You’re in Control of What You Believe

Nobody else gets to control your beliefs. Yes, it takes work. Yes, it takes practice. Yes, it takes reprogramming. But ultimately, you get to decide what’s true for you.

You can choose to see being single in your 30s as a blessing. Space to work on your relationship with yourself and get crystal clear on what you actually want in a partner.

You can choose to embrace living with your parents as bonus time. A season of connection you’ll be grateful for when they’re no longer here.

You can choose to believe that not having children (or not wanting them at all) doesn’t make your life any less meaningful or valuable.

This is your life. You get to decide what the rules are.

Why Your 30s Aren’t “Too Late”

Your 30s aren’t for settling. They’re not for rushing into a relationship, a mortgage, or a job you hate just because you’re scared it’ll be “too late” otherwise.

Your 30s are for:

• Getting clear on what you truly want

• Raising your standards in love, career, money, and friendships

• Building an incredible relationship with yourself

• Trusting that the life you desire gets to be yours
  

When you anchor yourself in the belief that you deserve what you want, you stop worrying about the timeline. Because you know it’s inevitable.

Normalising Where You Are Right Now

So let’s normalise where you are:

• Being single doesn’t mean no one wants you

• Living at home doesn’t mean you’re not independent

• Being child-free doesn’t mean you’re behind or selfish

It just means you’re living life your way. And if it’s not the exact life you want right now, that’s okay too. You can use this in-between chapter to refine your standards, figure out what you truly want, and create a strategy to get there.

Thriving in the present moment, while holding a vision for the future, is what keeps you motivated, inspired, and excited about the life you’re building.

You’re Not Behind, You’re Exactly Where You’re Supposed to Be

You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’ve just been buying into the wrong beliefs.

The truth? You just need to get a little more delusional in your 30s, believing with full confidence that what you want is not only possible, it’s inevitable.

So here’s your reminder: stop measuring yourself against outdated timelines. Start living life your way. And trust that you are already exactly where you’re meant to be.

Because your 30s aren’t about settling: they’re about raising your standards, rewriting your story, and creating the life you actually want.

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Hi, I’m Becka, a single 34 year old who doesn’t have kids and lives at home with her mum, and despite society’s desperate attempts, I don’t feel behind. I’m figuring out my 30s without believing I need to “get my shit together” in order to be successful or seen as valuable.

If you’re done feeling behind or like you’re “not enough,” this is your reminder you’re exactly where you need to be, and we’re in it together. Get a front row seat to how I’m building a confident life in my 30s (and how you can too) here.

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