Old me would’ve hit snooze, rolled over, put on an eye mask, and tried to get more sleep. But I’m stepping into a new version of myself — the hottest, happiest, healthiest version. (Full disclosure: I did not feel hot or happy that morning). I grumpily dragged myself out of bed when a thought hit me: “Wouldn’t it be lovely to make a coffee and go for a walk?” Old me was screaming. Absolutely not. But the ‘between’ version of me remembered a commitment I’d made to myself.

As I celebrate turning 34, I thought I’d share the most important lessons I’ve learned over the past 12 months. I truly believe there is so much we can learn from each other’s stories and experiences. My hope is that in sharing mine, something will resonate with you, inspire you, or maybe even spark a lesson of your own. So grab a cup of tea (or a glass of wine) and a notebook—because here are 12 important life lessons in your 30s that I’ve learned this past year.

I’m guessing there are a lot of things you’ve thought about doing in your 30s: quitting your job to start a business, switching careers, dating differently, moving abroad, making a shit tonne of money, or maybe just cutting your hair short and dyeing it pink. But here’s the thing: it’s not the how that’s stopping you, it’s the fear of judgement. I’m about to share one powerful sentence that can destroy that fear in seconds, so you can live your 30s however the fuck you want to.

Being the villain in your thirties doesn’t mean you’re evil. It doesn’t mean you’re out here intentionally hurting people or being rude for the sake of it. What it really means is this: you’re finally prioritising your needs, speaking up for yourself, and refusing to settle into a life that doesn’t make you happy. If you’ve been people-pleasing, settling, or staying quiet when you should have spoken up, now’s the time to step into your villain era.

You don’t feel behind because you’re not there yet. You feel behind because you’re still letting Instagram decide where “there” even is. But we’re not doing that anymore. We’re washing our hands, starting fresh, and getting you out of this spiral of thinking you’re not good enough or haven’t achieved enough. Because here’s the truth: you are not behind.

We’ve all made mistakes, right? My twenties were mistake after mistake and whilst I’m definitely still making some in my thirties, there are 7 mistakes I’ve stopped making so I thought I’d share those with you. Not because I’ve got it all figured out because let’s be honest, I definitely don’t, but because I’ve stopped pretending that I should have it all figured out.

If you’re a single 30-something, child-free, maybe living with your parents, and you’ve been made to feel like you’re “behind” because of it—or worse, convinced yourself that you’re late to life because you’re not where you thought you’d be—this is for you.

As a 30-something, if you’ve ever sat there and thought to yourself “Why do I feel so lost?”, “Everyone else seems to have figured it out.” or “I should know what I want by now.”, this is the episode for you. The truth is you’re not behind, you’re not a failure and you’re definitely not alone. 

There’s been a quiet transformation happening behind the scenes lately. Not a flashy 12-week glow-up. Not a six-figures-in-six-days type rebrand. But a slow, intentional, soulful shift back to who I really am, and the most confident I’ve ever felt in myself.