One Simple Thing You Can Do Today To Stop Feeling Behind In Your 30s

This blog post was adapted from the transcript of the podcast episode below. Listen now or read on for the highlights:

If you’re feeling behind in your 30s, this is how you stop

You don’t feel behind because you’re not there yet. You feel behind because you’re still letting Instagram decide where “there” even is. But we’re not doing that anymore. We’re washing our hands, starting fresh, and getting you out of this spiral of thinking you’re not good enough or haven’t achieved enough.

Because here’s the truth: you are not behind.

Why You Feel Behind in Your 30s (and Why It’s Not True)

A lot of us hit our 30s and think:

• I should be married by now

• I should own a home

• I should have kids

• I should have it all figured out

And when those boxes aren’t ticked, we feel like we’ve messed up our lives. We’ve failed. We’re behind everyone else.

I get it. My five-year relationship ended just before I turned 29. A few weeks later, my best friend announced he was having a baby. A couple of weeks after that, my younger brother got engaged.

At 29, about to turn 30, I suddenly found myself single, with no home of my own (I’d been living abroad), and no clue what was next. I felt like I didn’t have my shit together. I couldn’t have felt more behind if I’d tried.

I’d expected to be engaged. I’d expected to have my own place, even if it was just renting somewhere cute. I had not expected to be back home, single, and without kids as I hit 30. But that was the card I was dealt.

My Story: Breakups, Comparison, and Feeling “Behind”

When I went through that breakup, it felt like everyone around me was ticking off milestones I hadn’t reached.

Every day I’d see:

• Another scan photo

• Another proposal announcement

• Another gender reveal

• Another wedding status update on Facebook

Meanwhile, I was crying on the couch with the Sex and the City box set and a tub of ice cream, wondering where I went wrong.

But then I had a realisation: 30 isn’t old. In fact, 30 isn’t even a third of your life. People are living longer than ever. Thirty is still young.

Your 30s are a time for exploration, clarity, and confidence. It’s the decade where you start to give fewer fucks about what people think, and you finally get to decide what you actually want.

The Instagram Trap: Why Scrolling Makes It Worse

When I was honest with myself about why I felt behind, I realised one huge thing: my scrolling habits were ruining me. Every single day I was:

• Seeing baby announcements

• Seeing engagement photos

• Seeing new homes and weddings

And every time, it added to the huge feeling of “I’m behind”. I was so busy focusing on all the things I didn’t have, I wasn’t focusing on my life.

The truth? I didn’t own a home because I’d spent my money traveling the world in my 20s. I wasn’t engaged because my relationship had ended. I didn’t have kids because I wasn’t even sure if I wanted them.

But I did have a thriving business I’d been growing since 2016.

The milestones I thought I was missing weren’t even things I’d been working toward.

So I started unfollowing people who triggered me, and instead, I looked for evidence that the life I wanted was possible:

• Couples who found love later in life

• Women having children in their late 30s and 40s

• Stories of people starting fresh at 35, 40, or beyond

And it worked… for a while.

The Power of Perspective: 30 Isn’t Old

Fast forward, and I’m 34 now. For the most part, I’ve made peace with how life has gone. But a few weeks ago, I realised I’d slipped back into old habits.

Proposal videos, gender reveals, and pregnancy announcements had started to flood my Instagram feed. And then it hit me: I’m going to be 40 in five years.

Instantly, I felt that familiar panic, like I’d wasted my 30s.

This time, instead of just unfollowing people, I knew I needed something bigger.

How I Quit Social Media to Stop Feeling Behind

I went cold turkey.

I deleted the apps. Logged out. Removed temptation completely.

I knew this would work for me because back in 2015, I quit smoking the exact same way. I’d tried cutting back before, but the only thing that worked was going cold turkey. Ten years later, I still haven’t touched a cigarette.

So I treated social media the same way. I told myself: It’s just 30 days.

No scrolling. No checking announcements. No comparing myself. Just space for me and my life.

What Changed After 30 Days Off Social Media

Let me tell you, it changed everything. Once I got past the first two days of FOMO and wondering what I was missing, the benefits blew me away. Here’s what happened:

• Clarity: I suddenly knew what I wanted for my life and goals.

• Discipline: I was more productive, finally doing the things I’d been putting off.

• Sleep: Better than ever. I’d struggled for months, sometimes relying on sleeping tablets. But off social media? I slept like a baby.

• Confidence: I stopped feeling like I wasn’t good enough.

• Energy: I worked out more, drank more water, and felt physically healthier.

• Less Anxiety: I wasn’t weighed down by comparison anymore.

• Happiness: Honestly, I just felt lighter and happier day to day.

And the only thing I changed was logging out of social media.

How You Can Stop Feeling Behind in Your 30s

So, if you’re feeling behind, here’s what I suggest:

• Take a 30-day break from social media. Log out, delete the apps, and give yourself space.

• Fill that time with things that lift you up. Go for a walk, hit the gym, start a hobby, or take yourself on a date.

• Focus on your own milestones. What have you achieved that you’re proud of? What do you want next?

• Build real-life joy. Spend time with friends, explore new places, and create experiences that make you feel alive.

When you stop investing your energy in watching how everyone else is living, you finally get to live your own life fully.

A 30-Day Challenge to Shift Your Perspective

If you’re ready to stop feeling behind, challenge yourself: 30 days. No social media.

Use that time to:

• Journal about what you really want

• Set a goal you’ve been putting off

• Try something new

• Connect with people offline

• Rest and recharge without comparison in your face every day

Trust me, this will change how you see yourself and your 30s.

You’re Not Behind, You’re Right On Time

Here’s the truth: being 30-something, single, child-free, or not owning a home doesn’t mean you’re behind or a failure.

It just means your path looks different. And that’s not only okay, it’s powerful.

Your 30s are for clarity, confidence, and creating the life you actually want, not the one Instagram tells you to want. So, if you’re tired of feeling behind, log out. Step back. Focus on you.

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Hi, I’m Becka, a single 34 year old who doesn’t have kids and lives at home with her mum, and despite society’s desperate attempts, I don’t feel behind. I’m figuring out my 30s without believing I need to “get my shit together” in order to be successful or seen as valuable.

If you’re done feeling behind or like you’re “not enough,” this is your reminder you’re exactly where you need to be, and we’re in it together. Get a front row seat to how I’m building a confident life in my 30s (and how you can too) here.

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