How to Fix Your Money Mindset in Your 30s When You’ve Always Been “Bad With Money”
I entered my 30s with the same bad money habits I’d had in my 20s. Overspending, impulse spending, using credit cards to live, shopping to make me feel better and zero savings behind me.
I’d racked up thousands of pounds in credit card debt after interpreting the “live like your future self” as “spend like a rich person” which meant I lived with crippling shame on a daily basis. Money, or my lack of it, was on my mind 24/7. I was using credit cards to pay off other credit cards and continuing to over/impulse spend.
As a self employed business owner, my income was never guaranteed so I’d live in the feast and famine cycle. Good months meant I could clear some of the debt but it also meant I’d spend more because I had more money in the bank. Bad months meant sleepless nights, constant anxiety and using credit cards to pay bills and business expenses, thus adding to the debt.
It was exhausting.
I’ve always been “bad with money”. There’s something about my brain that struggles to budget, to work out what to pay first, to save. It’s not my strong point. Or it wasn’t, that is.
In 2021, just before I turned 31, I reached a point where enough was enough. I was so fed up with being in this never-ending cycle with money. It was no joke ruining my life.
Now, 5 years later, here’s what I’ve been doing to help me transform my relationship with money, improve my money mindset, pay off my debts and have savings in my bank account for the first time since my early twenties (when I used my savings to travel the world).
(This blog post contains affiliate links marked with an * asterisk. This doesn’t affect you in any way but if you choose to purchase something through that link, I’ll make commission. This supports the running costs of this website.)
Ready to rebuild as the hottest, happiest, healthiest version of yourself? Grab your free toolkit below:
The discovery that stopped me impulse spending
In the summer of 2021, I read an article that suddenly made my life make sense. It described a woman with ADHD and as I skimmed the list of traits, it was like I was seeing myself on paper. Naturally, I went down a rabbit hole of understanding everything I could about ADHD in order to self diagnose.
With impulse spending being a common trait of ADHD, I realised it was never my ‘fault’, as such. I knew I had the compulsion to buy things and that it was something I’d never been able to control, but I’d always blamed myself for being reckless, stupid, bad with money. Yet now I actually had an explanation for why the compulsion was so intense.
Since discovering this about myself, I’ve slowly been able to make more conscious choices around my spending. Yes, that intense compulsion to buy the thing I see immediately is very much still there. BUT, I have money goals in my mind that are more important to me right now.
Whenever I have the impulse to buy something, I give myself a cooling off period. Typically a week or two. If I’m still thinking about it then, I’ll go back to it. But more often than not, I’ve completely forgotten the thing existed or the desire for it has disappeared within a couple of days.
I also ask myself “what’s more important to me right now? Buying this thing or achieving my savings goal/paying off debt?”. When I remind myself what’s more important to me, I’m able to talk myself out of the impulse spend.
4 Things to do immediately to reduce your impulse spending (adhd or not):
Unsubscribe from all the newsletters that sell daily: I recently had a mass unsubscribe session from all my fave brands like Mango, Next, Cult Beauty, Look Fantastic, etc. Their daily sales emails were making me want to buy more and that’s just not on my goals list right now.
Consume less social media: I took a break from social media and my desire to impulse spend dropped dramatically. Viewing unboxings, influencer ads and brand content constantly makes you feel like you need more than you actually do.
Get clear on your priorities: what’s really important to you right now? Get super specific around what you actually want your money to do for you and hold that vision in your mind any time you feel the urge to buy something you know you don’t *actually* want.
Don’t beat yourself up for the impulse: Impulse and overspending is something that needs to be consciously worked through. If you slip up, that’s ok. Shaming yourself won’t make it easier to bounce back from the “mistake”.
I’m not perfect, obvs. I still have occasions where I buy things I shouldn’t - shouldn’t because I have other expenses, or I’m using a credit card, not shouldn’t because I’m not worthy of that thing - and in those instances, I have to work hard not to spiral into a pit of shame around what a terrible human being I am.
But that’s where Money Mentality Makeover* comes in.
Money Mentality Makeover by Amanda Frances Changed My Life
In July 2021, Amanda put her bundle The Wealthy Woman* on sale. I’d been following the self made multimillionaire for a couple of years but other than her book, Rich as Fuck, I’d never bought from her. I’d wanted to enroll in Money Mentality Makeover* but at $2,000+, it felt too much for my current financial situation.
I bought The Wealthy Woman bundle for $333 and felt an instant shift in myself. I also 4x my monthly income, signed new clients out of nowhere and made the money back I’d spent on the bundle nearly 6 times over.
With the proof that Amanda’s stuff actually worked, I went on to buy Money Mentality Makeover (with a $444 off coupon from The Wealthy Woman* Bundle) the next time enrolment opened.
From unpicking and rewriting the money beliefs I’d had since a child, to improving my own self worth and what I felt I deserved, to dropping the intense shame I’d had around being in debt for years, to energetically feeling very different about money, this course changed my life.
It helped me raise my prices so I was no longer burning out from needing to overwork, pay off thousands in credit card debt, generate passive income into my business, sign clients out of the blue and manifest money regularly.
You can find an in depth review of Money Mentality Makeover including the results I’ve gotten over the past 5 years since taking the course on my other website here.
I go through the course at least once per year and regularly dip in and out of the trainings when I need an extra boost.
I’m also a big fan of her Manifest Money Now* challenge (which is only $11) and Drop the Money Struggle* bundle.
You can get instant access to 14 money mindset resources for free plus a $1000 off coupon when you join the waitlist* for MMM. There’s no obligation to buy the course at all. I’d highly recommend signing up just for the free resources tbh. They alone are pretty freakin’ powerful.
I’d say Amanda’s teachings are 80-90% about the energetics - which I’ve seen incredible results with - but I was also craving more practical advice. Which is when Female Invest entered the chat.
Learning how to invest, spend, save and budget in my 30s
I saw an ad on socials for a webinar about investing with Sara Davies from Dragon’s Den. Curious, I signed up. The webinar was hosted by Female Invest, a financial education company created by women, for women. After enjoying the webinar, I signed up to the Female Invest platform and began learning more about money.
I’m not in a position where I want to start investing yet - my priority is paying off the last of my debt and building my FU Fund - but when I’m ready, I’ll be following their step by step guides. In the meantime, I’m learning about how and why you need a FU Fund, how to manage your money better and how to start building wealth.
The trainings are detailed yet bite-sized and easy to understand. They offer regular workshops, challenges and even host in person events. I cannot recommend this platform enough if you’re a woman in your 30s who wants to be better with money, build wealth and feel confident about managing their finances.
It’s such an empowering community to be a part of and has helped me to build confidence around what to actually do with my money when it lands in my bank account. I finally have savings (that are earning interest), my debt’s very close to being paid off and I’m being paid well for the work I deliver.
Money dates, monthly goals and tracking everything
As a self-employed business owner, I don’t have a regular income. But over the past 5 years, thanks to the resources mentioned above, I’ve been able to put things in place that make a steady income more likely. Things like minimum term contracts, finding steady work with an agency, and having regular money dates where I can actually track what’s going on and make adjustments accordingly.
I have a monthly income goal, I audit my expenses often and something I wasn’t doing before is celebrating the money I do have coming in over stressing about what isn’t or how far I am from my goal.
Practicing gratitude for the money I receive shifts my energy instantly and makes me feel more abundant. Working from this empowered energy has a positive effect on my business overall. It’s hard to enjoy what you’re doing when it feels like you’re only doing it to make money or you need to force yourself to hit a goal. Putting out content from a desperate “I need to make a sale!” energy isn’t fun for me and can easily be felt by the people consuming it.
I finally feel confident with money (95% of the time). I can see a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of paying off debt. I’m saving for my future, feeling positive about the direction my life’s going in and I’m no longer living with crippling shame around getting myself into debt.
If you can relate to anything I’ve shared, know that there is a way out. You get to change your relationship with money. And just because things feel bad now, doesn’t mean they have to be forever.
Money Mindset Resources I Highly Recommend (Affiliate Links)
Drop the Money Struggle Bundle*: The perfect foundational level bundle that’ll help you release your past money beliefs & begin to transform the way you think, act & feel about money.
The Wealthy Woman Bundle*: For an instant shift in how you view yourself, how you behave around money and what you believe about your ability to make more money, this bundle helps you become the wealthy woman. (my personal fave!).
The Energy & Frequency of Money Bundle*: This is a great bundle for overcoming fears around money, improving your self worth and releasing the traditional ideas around money that are keeping you from receiving more.
The Holiday Bundle*: An amazing annually released bundle that covers business stuff as well as the money stuff. Think handling fear in business, being more visible online, increasing your self confidence and creating a recognised brand.
Money Mentality Makeover*: This course helped me pay off over £15k in debt, increase my prices from £1k a month to £3k+ per month, win cash in competitions and on a more general level, improve my self worth and what I believe I’m deserving of.
Pulling Money Out of Thin Air*: A two part training around pulling money out of thin air. These videos are fun, expansive and help you get into the excitable energy of receiving.
Hi, I’m Becka, a single 34 year old who doesn’t have kids and lives at home with her mum, and despite society’s desperate attempts, I don’t feel behind. I’m figuring out my 30s without believing I need to “get my shit together” in order to be successful or seen as valuable.
If you’re done feeling behind or like you’re “not enough,” this is your reminder you’re exactly where you need to be, and we’re in it together. It’s time to make your 30s the hottest, happiest, healthiest decade of your life. Here’s how.
I entered my 30s with the same bad money habits I’d had in my 20s. Overspending, impulse spending, using credit cards to live, shopping to make me feel better and zero savings behind me.
Now, 5 years later, here’s what I’ve been doing to help me transform my relationship with money, improve my money mindset, pay off my debts and have savings in my bank account for the first time since my early twenties (when I used my savings to travel the world).