You Need To Date Yourself More In Your 30s: How To Feel Confident Solo

You Need To Date Yourself More In Your 30s

You not taking yourself out on regular solo dates in your thirties is something we need to sort out ASAP. Solo dating isn’t just a cute TikTok trend, it’s a radical act of self-worth and confidence. Keep reading as I break down the beliefs and barriers stopping you from dating yourself, show you simple tricks to remove solo date anxiety, and help you schedule your very first solo date of 2025.

Whether you're single, coupled up, or somewhere in-between, solo dates are a game-changing way to reconnect with yourself, build unshakeable confidence, and raise your standards in every area of life.

Let this be the year you become that woman: confident, magnetic, and happy as hell in her own company.

Why Dating Yourself in Your 30s Matters (Single and Coupled)

Dating yourself isn’t just required when you’re single. Sure, solo dates are a fantastic way to keep yourself feeling good, getting dressed up, and enjoying life as a singleton in your thirties. But they’re just as important if you’re already coupled up with your dream partner.

Regardless of my relationship status, I’ve been dating myself for over a decade, long before it became a trend on social media. And while I’m not always perfectly consistent, I’ve learned that solo experiences are vital. They keep my cup overflowing. They remind me that I’m the center of my own life. And honestly? They’ve been a game-changer for my confidence.

What Solo Dates Really Are (Hint: It’s Not Just Eating Alone)

Here’s the thing most people misunderstand: solo dates are about more than grabbing dinner by yourself or walking through a park alone.

They’re about reconnecting with yourself without the noise, opinions, or energy of anyone else. Solo dates give you the chance to:

• Increase your self-worth

• Truly relax and unwind

• Create proof that you don’t need anyone else to make you happy

And here’s the most important takeaway: when you feel content in your own company, you become more selective about who you allow into your life. That means you stop settling for mediocre friendships or romantic relationships just to avoid being alone. Instead, you curate connections based on respect, love, and genuine joy.

Why You’re Not Taking Yourself Out (And How to Fix It)

If you’re in your thirties and not taking yourself out regularly, let’s be honest, it’s because you feel awkward AF. You worry everyone is judging you for being alone. But the truth? No one cares. Everyone else is too wrapped up in their own insecurities to even notice you.

Let’s break down the six mindset shifts that will help you finally ditch the solo-date anxiety.

1. Think Like Your 80-Year-Old Self

Instead of obsessing over what strangers might think when you say, “Table for one, please”, ask yourself: How will I feel when I’m 80 years old and realise I skipped amazing solo experiences because I was scared of judgment?

Imagine all the things you could miss out on:

• People-watching dinners for one

• Cinema trips where you don’t share your popcorn

• Adventurous weekends away to a new city

Would 80-year-old you really thank you for saying no to these opportunities? I think not.

2. Flip the Script on How Others See You

You might think people pity you for being alone, but here’s the truth: when you see someone out solo, you admire them. You think, “Wow, they’re confident, I wish I could do that.”

So why assume anyone would look at you differently?

Here’s my golden rule: no one who is where you want to be in life will judge you. Confident people don’t laugh at you for striving. They cheer you on. And everyone else? Too busy worrying about themselves.

3. Actually Plan the Date (Don’t Wing It)

When I used to “plan” solo dates, I’d wake up and tell myself, “Today I’ll do it.” Then anxiety would take over, and I’d cancel on myself. The solution? Booking things in advance.

• Reserve a table in a restaurant

• Buy cinema tickets in advance

• Book an exhibition slot

When you put money down or commit in advance, you’re way more likely to follow through. Confidence comes from taking action, and every time you follow through on a date with yourself, you prove you can trust yourself.

4. Take Props to Ease the Awkwardness

If the thought of being stared at makes you squirm, bring props.

• A book or magazine

• Headphones for music or a podcast

• A journal to write in

Distractions help you feel at ease until your confidence grows. And bonus tip? Wear something that makes you feel amazing. That way, if anyone is looking at you, you’ll assume it’s because they love your outfit, not because they’re judging you.

5. Give Yourself Permission to Leave

This one’s huge: you don’t need to force yourself to stay out longer than you want. Early on, I’d set mini goals like: “I’ll do one hour.” Over time, that stretched to two, then three, until I didn’t need limits anymore.

But even now, if I’ve had enough after an hour, I leave. If I’m having fun, I extend the date. A 20-minute coffee by yourself is still a solo date. It still counts. There are no rules.

6. Focus on How Good You’ll Feel After

Instead of obsessing about the anxiety leading up to your date, shift your focus to how good it’ll feel after.

Think about:

• The pride you’ll feel for doing it

• The joy of having uninterrupted time

• The freedom of not sharing your popcorn

When I first started, I used to celebrate myself at the end of each solo date. I’d reflect on how far I’d come - from nervous and self-conscious to someone who now slips into cafes, cinemas, and art galleries without a second thought.

THIS Is the Year You Start Dating Yourself

Solo dates are about so much more than filling time. They’re about creating space to reconnect, recharge, and prove to yourself that you are enough. And the truth is, the more comfortable you are being alone, the higher your standards will be in every relationship.

So let this be the year you finally start dating yourself with confidence. Book that table for one. Tuck into your popcorn at the cinema. Wander aimlessly around the museum you’ve been waiting for someone to take you to. Mark your solo date in your calendar now, and once you’re done, leave me a comment to let me know where you’re going.

Happy dating yourself! And remember: your 30s are for you, first and foremost.

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Hi, I’m Becka, a single 34 year old who doesn’t have kids and lives at home with her mum, and despite society’s desperate attempts, I don’t feel behind. I’m figuring out my 30s without believing I need to “get my shit together” in order to be successful or seen as valuable.

If you’re done feeling behind or like you’re “not enough,” this is your reminder you’re exactly where you need to be, and we’re in it together. Get a front row seat to how I’m building a confident life in my 30s (and how you can too) here.

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