Why You Need To Be More Delusional In Your 30s (Yes, Really)
I'd rather be delusional in my dreams than settled in a life that doesn’t bring me excitement, peace, or joy. And if you're in your 30s, it's time for you to embrace that same mindset.
Keep reading to find out why being a little delusional is actually the secret to getting everything you want.
The Backlash of High Standards
Last year, I shared a reel on social media about why I ended things with a guy I’d been seeing for a few months. Nice guy (to me), but he wasn’t my person on any level—different values, different life goals, different dreams. He also didn’t want kids. It wasn’t a match. Simple.
But the amount of hate I got for that reel? Insane.
Men flooded the comments telling me I was delusional, that my standards were too high, that I should have settled because he was “kind”. Apparently, I was a walking red flag, doomed to die alone with cats, and unworthy of love because I dared to want more for my life than “ok”.
And yet, here’s the thing: My so-called delusional beliefs have gotten me far in life. They’ve sent me to live abroad for most my twenties, helped me travel solo, start online businesses and create the life full of freedom I always craved.
Meanwhile, these “realistic” people are sitting on the internet, raging at a 30 something woman for refusing to settle…
What Does It Actually Mean to Be Delusional?
Being delusional isn’t about ignoring reality. It’s about choosing to believe that anything is possible. It’s about having the confidence to say:
My dreams are valid
I get to live an extraordinary life
I refuse to settle for what society expects of me
When you adopt this mindset, you naturally become more positive, more ambitious, and bolder. You take braver action. You stop obsessing over failure or what people might think. You stop letting fear dictate your choices.
And even if things don’t always go exactly how you planned—who cares? Living with this level of self-belief makes life more exciting, fulfilling, and joyful. And honestly, isn’t that the whole point?
How My Delusional Beliefs Changed My Life
My ‘delusional’ mindset has helped me:
Travel the world solo
Negotiate pay raises I was told I’d never get
Win awards in my corporate roles
Launch multiple online businesses
Start a podcast that’s now in the top 10% globally
Become a co-author of a bestselling book
Help thousands of people build confidence in themselves
Create a freedom-focused life that allows me to work when I want
Now, imagine if I’d listened to the people who told me I couldn’t. Imagine if I’d lived my life based on “normal” beliefs, stuck to “realistic” goals, and settled. I’d get to 80 years old with a tonne of regrets and no exciting stories to tell the grandkids.
The Beliefs You Need to Adopt Right Now
If you want to live a life you actually love, start by choosing these beliefs:
I can achieve anything I set my mind to
I am worthy and deserving of the life I desire
I have the confidence to go after what I want
If these feel like a stretch, try this trick: add “I choose to believe” in front of each one.
I choose to believe I can achieve anything I set my mind to
I choose to believe I am worthy and deserving of the life I desire
I choose to believe I have the confidence to go after what I want
At first, it might feel weird. But the more you repeat these mantras, the more they become your reality. And when you truly believe in yourself? That’s when everything changes.
Stop Believing You Need to Have It All Together
One belief you need to drop immediately? The idea that you should have your shit together by now. Because guess what? No one actually does. If you’re ready to let go of that pressure and fully embrace where you’re at, read this next: You’ll never be that girl: How to stop feeling behind in your 30s
Rebecca Hawkes is a Confidence Coach, content creator & podcaster dedicated to helping you step into your most powerful, unapologetic self so you can finally live your life feeling confident af throughout your 30s and beyond. It’s time for you to raise your standards and become the love of your life so you never settle for “ok” in any area of your life again. Sign up to BTS with Becka for your exclusive pass to my behind-the-scenes mindset shifts, confidence tips and real-life lessons.
There’s a version of you out there who already has everything you’re craving. She’s walking into rooms feeling magnetic, grounded, calm, and proud of who she is. She’s not waiting for life to happen, she’s already living it. But here's the thing most people won't tell you: that version of you isn't “out there” in the future. She’s already within you.