12 important Life Lessons From A 33 Year Old
This blog post was adapted from the transcript of the podcast episode below. Listen now or read on for the highlights:
12 important Life Lessons From A 33 Year Old
As I celebrate turning 34, I thought I’d share the most important lessons I’ve learned over the past 12 months.
I truly believe there is so much we can learn from each other’s stories and experiences. My hope is that in sharing mine, something will resonate with you, inspire you, or maybe even spark a lesson of your own.
So grab a cup of tea (or a glass of wine) and a notebook—because here are 12 important life lessons in your 30s that I’ve learned this past year.
January: The Power of Deciding in Your 30s
Okay, so maybe I didn’t learn this in January, but I did make the decision in January that 2024 was going to be my comeback year.
I was going to revamp my business, show the fuck up online, increase my income from 2023, and end the year feeling proud of what I’d achieved—no matter what was going on in my personal life.
And that’s exactly what I did.
The Your Confident 30s brand was born
Within two months, the Instagram account grew to 2,400 followers. By August, it was 8,000+
I launched the YouTube channel for Your Confident 30s
The Date With Confidence podcast grew 4x—even with an unplanned three-month break
By July, I had already earned more than I did in the whole of 2023
None of this was by accident. It was all intentional.
That’s the lesson: you have to decide who you’re going to be and what you’re going to do, and then commit to that vision no matter what.
February: Other People’s Decisions Mean Nothing About You
In February, I launched a new program called Level Up in Love. Within a week of promoting it, someone signed up at the presale price. I was ecstatic.
Three days later, they emailed asking for a refund.
It was the first refund request I’d ever had in my business.
2018 me would have spiralled, thinking I wasn’t good enough, that nobody wanted to work with me, and clinging to the money because I was scared.
But 2024 me? I knew their decision wasn’t about me. It wasn’t about my skills or my value. It was just about them choosing themselves.
It reminded me of when my ex broke up with me in 2019. Him choosing himself didn’t mean I wasn’t good enough. Just like this client asking for a refund didn’t mean I wasn’t good enough.
Other people’s decisions mean nothing about you.
March: You Don’t Owe Anyone a Chance
I started dating someone new. He wasn’t my usual type, but we had chemistry years earlier, so I thought, “why not?”
I gave him a chance.
Fast forward three months: our lifestyles didn’t align, his words didn’t match his actions, and he expressed harmful views that clashed with my values.
My gut had been quietly telling me from the beginning, but I ignored it.
Here’s the truth: You don’t owe anyone a chance.
I spent my 20s giving men endless chances, making excuses, and hoping they’d change. They never did.
Now? If someone doesn’t align with my values, desires, and standards—I’m out.
April: When You’re Solid in Who You Are, Nothing Can Touch You
In April, I went properly viral. Over six million views on a reel about ending things with the guy I just mentioned.
And with it came thousands of hateful comments.
A few years ago, that would have destroyed me. I would have questioned everything and probably quit the internet.
But now? I’m solid in who I am, what I stand for, and the decisions I make. Those comments rolled off me like water off a duck’s back.
It was a turning point. I realised I’m embodying a level of self-confidence I’ve never had before.
When you’re solid in who you are, nothing can touch you.
May: Don’t Beat Yourself Up for Lessons
Even after ending things with that guy, I caught myself replaying our short situationship, feeling disgusted I’d wasted three months.
Over wine with a friend, she reminded me: that’s dating. You can’t always know after one date if someone is right for you. It takes time to peel back the layers.
And if everything worked out perfectly on the first try, you’d never learn or grow.
Don’t beat yourself up for lessons. They’re part of the journey.
And if you’ve also felt blindsided by red flags you didn’t see coming, read this to remove the shame.
June: Self Care Is Possible in the Chaos
In June, my grandad went into hospital for the first time. Suddenly, stress went up, time for myself went down.
But even in the chaos, I found ways to practice self-care:
Two minutes of deep breathing
Five-minute kitchen dance parties while cleaning
Singing loudly in the car
My skincare routine paired with affirmations
It’s not always easy, but it is possible.
Self care doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be consistent.
July: Who You Surround Yourself With Matters
In July, I spent time with my favourite people—family and friends who just “get” me.
These weren’t big events. They were sofa hangouts, deep political conversations over tapas, and long walks.
And it reminded me: who you surround yourself with is everything.
Not every friendship is safe. But the ones where you can show up as your full self without judgment? Those are gold.
August: The Importance of Self-Awareness
For three years in a row, August has knocked me flat—exhaustion, burnout, overwhelm.
In 2022, it even led to my ADHD diagnosis.
This year, I didn’t spend a week in bed, but I still felt depleted. The difference? I recognised the pattern.
Instead of shaming myself, I prepped in advance, scheduled time off, and gave myself permission to slow down.
That’s the power of self-awareness: you can work with yourself, not against yourself.
September: Every Rejection Happens for a Reason
In September, I applied for a seasonal job at Lush as a way to get out of the house and meet new people. I thought I nailed the trial shift, but I didn’t get it.
At first, I was surprised. But then I realised—if I’d gotten the job, I wouldn’t have had the capacity to support my family when my grandad came home from hospital or when my brother’s new baby arrived. (and as it happens, Grandad died on Christmas Eve so if I’d gotten the job, I wouldn’t have spent the last 3 months of his life by his bedside).
It was a reminder that every rejection happens for a reason.
Even if you don’t see it straight away, the reason always reveals itself later.
October: The Secret to Never Feeling Behind in Your 30s
At 30, I was living with my mum, single, and without any of the things I thought I’d have by then—ring, husband, babies, house. I felt so behind.
At 34, I’m still single, still childfree, still living with my mum. But now? I feel deeply content and not behind at all.
The secret? I became the love of my life.
I date myself. I take myself out. I treat myself. I validate myself. I romanticise the shit out of the mundane.
Everything on my vision board is still coming. But I’m not stressing about the “when” anymore.
November: You Have to Let the Breakdown Happen
Two weeks ago, I spent an entire day sobbing—ugly crying, snot streaming, the lot.
It wasn’t fun. But it was necessary.
Because breakdowns are how we release, process, and reset.
Stop trying to hold it together all the time. There’s strength in letting yourself fall apart.
December: You’ve Come Further Than You Think
The end of the year always makes me reflect. And every single December, I can barely recognise the person I was in January.
Growth, evolution, lessons, wins—it all adds up.
And I know the same is true for you.
Take a moment to look back. I guarantee you’ve come further than you realise.
Your 30s Are for Growth
This year has been full of lessons, some hard, some empowering, all worth learning.
The biggest takeaway? Your 30s aren’t about ticking boxes or comparing timelines. They’re about building confidence, choosing yourself, and loving the life you’re creating.
Now I’d love to hear from you: What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned over the past year?
Share it in the comments, I’d love to celebrate your growth with you.
Hi, I’m Becka, a single 34 year old who doesn’t have kids and lives at home with her mum, and despite society’s desperate attempts, I don’t feel behind. I’m figuring out my 30s without believing I need to “get my shit together” in order to be successful or seen as valuable.
If you’re done feeling behind or like you’re “not enough,” this is your reminder you’re exactly where you need to be, and we’re in it together. Get a front row seat to how I’m building a confident life in my 30s (and how you can too) here.
As I celebrate turning 34, I thought I’d share the most important lessons I’ve learned over the past 12 months. I truly believe there is so much we can learn from each other’s stories and experiences. My hope is that in sharing mine, something will resonate with you, inspire you, or maybe even spark a lesson of your own. So grab a cup of tea (or a glass of wine) and a notebook—because here are 12 important life lessons in your 30s that I’ve learned this past year.