How To Become Confident AF In Your 30s

Feeling lost in your 30s? Doubting your decisions? Sick of waiting for confidence to magically appear? You’re not alone.

You feel like you should have your shit together by now, like confidence should come naturally and yet, here you are, second-guessing yourself, avoiding risks, and watching others live a life you wish you had.

That ends today.

I’m about to share how to become confident af in your 30s with The 90/90 Mindset, a game-changing concept I created to help you feel confident in yourself every single day. Plus, I’ll even give you access to my free five-minute guided visualisation for self confidence.

The Confidence Myth That’s Holding You Back

Growing up, I believed confidence was something you either had or didn’t. I thought some people were born with it and others, like me, missed out. But that’s not true.

Confidence is built. It’s practiced. And most importantly, it’s not about feeling fearless 100% of the time. If you’re waiting for the moment you suddenly feel ready to take bold action, you’ll be waiting forever.

The 90/90 Mindset Concept: A New Way to Think About Confidence

I created this concept because I know what it’s like to have zero self-confidence. In my 20s, I was crippled by anxiety, terrified of leaving the house, and stuck in a cycle of fear that kept me trapped inside the house (and my own head). I spent weekends watching people live their best lives on YouTube while I hid away in my bedroom, too scared to go anywhere.

It took almost losing my job for me to wake up and realise: I wasn’t living. I was existing. And I was done with it.

So I made a promise to myself: I would do whatever it took to build my confidence and actually live my life. That’s how I created The 90/90 Mindset Concept—because confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about taking action even when you feel scared and knowing that it’s ok to not feel like you can take over the world some days.

The 90/90 Mindset Concept is your permission slip to be human while still going after everything you want in life. Here’s how it works:

The three core principles of The 90/90 Mindset Concept:

There are three core principles of The 90/90 Mindset Concept:

1. You Only Need to Be 90% Confident, 90% of the Time

Let’s be honest, no one is confident 24/7. If you’re aiming for 100% confidence all the time, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

The key? Allow yourself to be human 10% of the time, and commit to showing up with confidence the other 90%. That’s more than enough to change your life.

Embrace the bad days, accept the low confidence moments and don’t beat yourself up for not feeling confident af every second of every day.

2. You Only Need 90 Seconds of Confidence to Change Your Life

Here’s the good news: you don’t need to feel confident all the time. You just need 90 seconds of bravery to take an action that moves you forward:

• 90 seconds to ask for the pay rise

• 90 seconds to publish that post on social media

• 90 seconds to apply for the dream job

• 90 seconds to walk up to the hot guy in the coffee queue

After those 90 seconds? You can freak out. You can doubt yourself. But by then, the action is already done—and that’s what builds real confidence; doing the scary thing.

If you think back for a second now, I’m sure you’d be able to think of at least one moment in your life where you felt scared to do something but you did it anyway. How did you feel afterwards — proud? Shocked at your ability? Pleased that you’d actually taken the risk?

The more action you take, even before you feel ready, the more confidence you’ll create because you’ll create the evidence in your mind that you’re capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.

3. There are Three Layers of Confidence

Confidence isn’t just a mindset. It’s something you think, something you do, and something you feel—and you need to work on all three to create a solid foundation of self-confidence:

• Think Confident: Change your inner narrative. Stop telling yourself you’re not good enough. Replace those limiting beliefs with thoughts that empower you.

• Act Confident: Confidence comes from taking action. Wear the outfit that makes you feel amazing, stand tall, make eye contact. The more you do confident things, the more confidence you build.

• Feel Confident: Don’t wait for confidence to show up—generate it. Every morning, visualise confidence flooding your body before you even get out of bed. (you can grab my exact confidence visualisation for free below).

Ready to Transform Your Confidence?

Confidence isn’t something you wait for—it’s something you create. And The 90/90 Mindset Concept is how you do it.

If you’re ready to:

• Stop doubting yourself

• Take bolder action

• Finally go after the life you actually want

Then grab my FREE five-minute guided confidence visualisation inside The Confidence Kit. This is the exact exercise I use every morning to boost my confidence before my feet even hit the floor.

And if you want ongoing support, coaching, and a community of women building unstoppable confidence, join Confident AF—my membership where you get weekly personalised coaching and all the tools you need to step into your power.

The time is now. Let’s make confidence your new normal.

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Rebecca Hawkes is a Confidence Coach, content creator & podcaster dedicated to helping you step into your most powerful, unapologetic self so you can finally live your life feeling confident af throughout your 30s and beyond. It’s time for you to raise your standards and become the love of your life so you never settle for “ok” in any area of your life again. Sign up to BTS with Becka for your exclusive pass to my behind-the-scenes mindset shifts, confidence tips and real-life lessons.

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