3 Simple Mindset Shifts You Need To Make When Your Life Feels Average In Your 30s

Ever found yourself lying in bed, phone in hand, scrolling through everyone else’s amazing life on Instagram or TikTok and suddenly thinking… “Why does my life feel so average?”

If that sounds familiar, first of all: you're not alone. And second, let’s not stay stuck there.

Because no, you weren’t born to live a “meh” life. You weren’t put on this planet to feel behind or boring or basic. You deserve to be obsessed with your own life. And the good news is, that doesn’t mean you need to suddenly be rich, married, and living in Bali (unless you want to, in which case, go for it). This is about something deeper, and way more powerful.

This blog post is part one of the Rebrand Your Life series, and we’re kicking it off by getting real about what to do when your life feels average AF. We’re talking perspective shifts, mindset upgrades, and honest questions to ask yourself when you’re feeling behind or like nothing exciting is happening.

Let’s start your rebrand right now.

(This blog post was adapted from the transcript of a live video I did on Instagram. To watch the video instead, go here.)

Be Honest: What Are You Actually Telling Yourself?

Before you can shift anything, you have to get brutally honest about the thoughts you're repeating to yourself on a daily basis.

Are you waking up and immediately thinking:

• “Ugh, another day of the same old routine.”

• “Everyone else is doing so much better than me.”

• “I should be further along by now.”
  

Your inner narrative is everything. Because how you talk to yourself shapes how you feel, and how you feel shapes what you do.

So if you’re living in “average AF” energy, it’s time to investigate the thoughts keeping you there.

1. Break Free From the "I Should Be" Trap

The classic:

• “I should be married by now.”

• “I should be a homeowner.”

• “I should be a parent.”

• “I should have it all figured out.”

Here’s the deal: any sentence that starts with “I should be…” needs to be questioned immediately.

Ask yourself:

• Where did this belief come from?

• Whose voice is telling me this? My parents? Society? My ex?

• Do I even want that version of life, or have I just absorbed it from others?
  

The truth? Most of these “shoulds” are inherited timelines that were passed down over generations, especially for women. In the not so distant past, our lives were quite literally mapped out for us: grow up, get married, have kids, rely on a man for financial security, repeat.

But this is 2025. You don’t need a husband to be financially safe. You don’t need kids to prove your worth. And your timeline? You get to choose it for yourself.

You get to choose what your life looks like. You get to opt out of what doesn't feel aligned. And the moment you catch yourself saying “I should be,” is the moment to stop and rewrite your narrative.

2. Replace Limiting Beliefs With Empowering Ones

Beliefs are just thoughts you’ve repeated over and over again until they feel like truth.

So if you’ve spent the last few months (or years) repeating “I’m behind,” “I’m late to life,” or “My life is boring,” then of course you're going to feel like you’re stuck in average-ville.

But here's the game-changing truth: if you can repeat limiting thoughts, you can repeat empowering ones too.

Try these replacements:

• Instead of: “I should be further ahead”
  Say: “It’s impossible to be late for my destiny”
  

• Instead of: “Everyone else is doing better than me”
  Say: “Everything I desire is inevitable so the timeline isn’t important”
  

• Instead of: “The life I want isn’t possible for someone like me”
  Say: “I can achieve anything I set my mind to”
  

Rebranding your life starts with rebranding your beliefs. Every time you shift a thought, you’re building a new identity—one that supports your growth, rather than keeping you stuck.

3. Ditch the “If I Had More” Excuse

Let’s talk about the next mindset trap: the “If I had more…” narrative.

You know the one:

• “If I had more money, I could live the life I want.”

• “If I had more time, I’d be so much happier.”

• “If I had more energy, I’d go after my goals.”

It feels logical. But it’s actually a huge block.

Why? Because it puts your dream life on pause, waiting for external circumstances to change, when the truth is, you can create small pieces of your dream life right now, with what you’ve already got.

What Can You Do Today To Feel Abundant?

Here’s your reframe: What’s one small way you can tap into the energy of your dream life right now?

And no, it doesn’t have to cost anything.

For example:

• If your dream life includes morning walks with coffee in hand, go on one this week

• If it includes luxury skincare, get a free sample from a beauty counter and turn your bathroom into a spa

• If it includes slow mornings and journaling, set your alarm 15 minutes earlier and create the vibe

You don’t need a big bank balance to feel rich. You need intentional choices that signal: this is the life I choose to live.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t toxic positivity. You’re not ignoring reality. You’re shifting your focus so you’re no longer waiting to feel joy, you’re choosing it now, even in small ways.

A Personal Story: Abundance in a Broke Backpacker Life

When I was backpacking in Australia, I was broke. I was literally cleaning hostel toilets to get free accommodation and failing miserably at a commission-only sales job. Yes, I was living the backpacking dream and it was tough sometimes.

I could have sat in that hostel feeling sorry for myself, thinking, “My trip is so average compared to everyone else’s because I can’t afford to explore more.”

But instead, I chose to embody the version of me I was becoming. I went for walks by the marina. I sat by the sea with the sun on my skin and reminded myself I was on the other side of the world living a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I even went to The Body Shop and asked for skincare samples so I could have “luxury” nights in.

No, I wasn’t rich. But I was learning how to feel rich. I was creating joy with nothing. And that practice changed everything for me because that’s how you build a mindset that magnetises more of what you want.

When You Feel Behind, Try This Instead

Here’s the truth no one talks about: You can be grateful for where you are and still desire more.

It’s not one or the other. You don’t need to hate your life in order to want change. You can:

• Appreciate the little things

• Celebrate your progress

• Honour your present

And still work toward the future you dream of. In fact, the more you embrace that energy of “I already have good things,” the easier it becomes to attract even better things.

Final Thoughts: It’s Time to Rebrand Your Life

If your life feels average AF right now, don’t panic. Don’t spiral. And don’t waste another hour thinking you’re behind.

Here’s what to do instead:

1. Check your thoughts – What story are you repeating daily?

2. Rework your shoulds – Choose your own timeline.

3. Rewire your beliefs – Replace the limiting ones with something empowering.

4. Stop waiting for more – Live small parts of your dream life now.

5. Appreciate the present – Joy now and ambition for later can co-exist.
   

You’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to shift. And you’re absolutely allowed to rebrand your entire life at any moment—including right now.

So go ahead, start telling a new story. Write a new belief. Take a small bold action. Your rebrand has already begun. And if you want help, check out The Standard Is You.

If you found this useful, you’ll enjoy reading this next: Life Rebrand at 34: Upgrading My Identity, Beliefs & Business. This takes you behind the scenes of my own recent rebrand and shares practical steps to help you with your own.

And don’t miss the next part of the series: Want to Stop Feeling Behind in Your 30s? Break These 3 Habits Now

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Rebecca Hawkes is a Confidence Coach, content creator & podcaster dedicated to helping you step into your most powerful, unapologetic self so you can finally live your life feeling confident af throughout your 30s and beyond. It’s time for you to raise your standards and become the love of your life so you never settle for “ok” in any area of your life again. Sign up to BTS with Becka for your exclusive pass to my behind-the-scenes mindset shifts, confidence tips and real-life lessons.

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